Daily Read 3 : How To Change Anything In Your Life Part 1

Hello People, yesterday we talk about how our belief shapes us and affect our daily life unconsciously. I believe most of you could identify a few of your belief or from some of the examples give you can relate it to yourself. Today we are going to break those belief that is not helpful to us and add on a new empowering neuro pattern. You can read my yesterday post here (can change happen in a instant).

“The beginning of a habit is like an invisible thread, but every time we repeat the act we strengthen the strand, add to it another filament, until it becomes a great cable and binds us irrevocably, thought and act.” -Orison Swett Marden

To change our behavior, there is only one effective way to do it. Link extreme pain to our old behavior. There are 6 simple steps to follow which is called the Neuro-Associative Conditioning (NAC). This chapter is pretty long, so i am going to share a short story for every part of the 6 steps that i feel is most important to me.

Step 1 : Decide what you really want and what’s preventing you from having it now?
Basically this means that we need to have a goal in mind. So we know where we want to move forward to. For example some people goal is to be happy. So people goal is to get that business deal. We want a happy relationship. And what is stopping us from getting to our goal. For example the fear of the unknown for change.

Step 2: Get Leverage : Associate Massive Pain to Not Changing Now and Massive Pleasure to the Experience of Changing Now!
If someone points a gun at your head and request you to get out of your depressed state right now and be happy many of us will immediately be able to snap out of the depressed state and be happy. That is leverage. So we need to create a leverage that is so strong that we will be compelled to follow through. Many of us are stuck in a bad relationship, we want to be happy however and we know that by leaving that harmful relationship will make us happy but we tell ourself what if we cannot find someone better, what if nobody wants me or better still this person that is hurting me might change. The fear of the unknown is a more power motivating force for you to not do anything. This kind of thinking is what stopping us from making changes. So one day the pain of being in that negative relationship became greater than the fear of unknown, so you hit a threshold and made the change!

Another way of leverage for people who are trying to lose weight. There is lady who share her story of how THE ALPO DIET. So she and her friend has finally decided that its enough they agree that they need to lose weight. They decided to commit to each other anStd a group of friends that if they break their promise this time, they would each have to eat a whole can of ALPO Dog Food. Each of them have a can of ALPO dog food on their table, if time they are feeling their hunger pangs, they will pick up the dog food and read the label. “With ingredients boasting horsemeat chunks” and they found no difficulty in sticking to their commitment and they achieved their goals.

The greatest leverge you can create for yourself is the pain that comes from inside, not outside. knowing that you have failed to live up to your own standards for your life is the ultimate pain. One of the strongest forces in human personality is the drive to preserve the integrity of our own identify. Externally forcing someone to change does work for a while, however for lasting change, it has to happen from the inside. How do we do that? By asking question on what this belief will lead us to in our relationship, our life, physically, emotionally, financially and spiritually.

Step 3: Interrupt The Limiting Pattern
A CD that is playing normally can be interrupted by taking a needle scratching a dozens of times and the will never play the same way again. So how can we do it? One of the method in the book called The Scramble Pattern. There is 3 steps to making this works. 1) See the situation in your mind that was bothering you so much. 2) Take that same experience and turn it into a cartoon. Play the cartoon now in your mind and send the image as far back so you can see everything. Now let the movie run backwards in fast motion and see them swallow their words. Now change colour of the image particularly to the person who upsets you, make their ears grow like mickey mouse or nose go longer like pinocchio. Do it a dozen of times To and Fro. 3) Now think about the situation that was bothering you, and notice how you feel now.

This Chapter is really packed with lots of mind blowing information and i will continued part 2 in tomorrows daily read! Thanks for reading! As always if you want to purchase tony’s book awaken the giant within do go to the link below!

 

 

 

Daily Read 2 : Can Change Happen In An Instant?

Hi everyone, yesterday we talk about how belief system can actually shape our life by helping us make decision. So it is really important for us to understand what belief we have and keep the ones that is good for us and replace those that is harming us. We cannot reach a goal if we don’t even know what the goal is right? Clarity is power and i hope you had found some negative belief that you had and today we will talk about change.  Read On Yesterday Article On Belief System.

Tony Robbins strongly belief that all changes are created in a moment, its just that most of us wait until something happen then we decide to make a shift in our life. So then why many of us think that changes takes a long time? Or you must have heard i need to change bit by bit slowly. I cannot change too fast. That is because most of us uses willpower for the change and after a while, they fail. Willpower is not enough if we want to achieve lasting change.

Second culturally we link negative thoughts to instant change. Instant change to some means you really never had a problem at all. For example, in our culture if your family or love one pass on, we all believe that we need to grieve for a period of time. If today your love one pass on and the next day you didn’t grieve any more so does that means that you didn’t care or you don’t love that person? We change our emotions according to the culture that we are in. In Fact, this example in the book will open up our mind. “There are in fact culture that celebrates when someone passes on, they believe that god knows the right time for us to leave the earth and dieing means graduation! And if you grieve over someone death, it will indicate nothing but your lack of understanding in life. They link pleasure to death and pain to grieve. “

Our brain is such a power tools, it has the ability to link pain and pleasure to our nervous system, so immediately we will be able to react and avoid certain situation. This is how our brain works, anytime we receive any pain or pleasure our brain will start to look for the cause. Your brain uses this 3 criteria
1. Your brain look for something unique
2. Your brain look for something that happen simultaneously.
3. Your brain look for consistency

Because the 3 criteria for forming neuro-associations are so imprecise we often misinterpret and created a false neuro-associations. This example here will show you what exactly it is about and it might sound familiar to you. “A lady who was in a relationship with this guy for 12 years, she is extremely passionate about everything she do. However when the relationship ended she found herself in massive pain. Her brain immediately searches for something unique to this relationship. The brain noted that the relationship has been extremely passionate, instead of thinking it as a beautiful part of the relationship, she began to think that this was why the relationship ended. Then the brain started to look for something that happen simultaneously to the pain, again she noted a great amount of passion before the relationship ended. When she look for something consistent, again passion seems to be the culprit. Because passion made all the 3 criteria, her brain decided that passion must be the reason why the relationship ended painfully. Guess what? She resolved never to feel that amount of passion in a relationship again.” This is really a classic example of a false neuro-association. This belief now guides her to her other relationship and it crippled her the ability to have a better relationship in the future. And because she links pain to her passion, she avoided being passionate at all cost, not only relationship suffer and her work suffer as well. Her whole life when downwards.

Mixed Neuro-Association, a classic source of self sabotage. A very common example is with Money. Many of us link pleasure of money to freedom, security, happiness and Pain to money as well like greed, being judge, need to work hard to get it. Mixed Neuro Association will gives us mix results. We want money which is pleasure however we dont want to work hard for it cause it is painful is a very good example of mixed neuro association.

I hope this give you some fresh ideas and get your brain thinking if what your belief is really helping you or crippling you. Next chapter will be on the 6 step to change! If you guys wish to read ahead. Go to the link below!

Daily Read 1 : Belief Systems, The Power To Create Or Destroy

Hi Guys, i will be doing a summary of my daily reading, hope this 10 minutes a day summary can inspire you and make you stronger. Of course for myself, I can absorb and learn more as i blog and put my thoughts down.

Today i am on chapter 4 of Anthony Robbins Awaken The Gian Within and this chapter title : Belief System : The Power To Create And The Power To Destroy. “Under all that we think, lives all we believe, like the ultimate veil of our spirits.” – Antonio Machado

This chapter started out with the story of 2 brothers, one who is a alcoholic and drug addict who was jailed for attempting to murder someone and the other brother who has a happy family with 3 kids, works as a regional manager and doesn’t do drugs or alcohol. Both were interviewed and asked what makes them who they are today and both replied “What else could i have become with a father like that”

This really got me thinking why 2 person of the same father could have such a different outcome. So in the book it explain Its not the event in our life that shapes us, but our beliefs as to what those events mean. Many more stories in the book that explains how different belief to certain events shape us differently, there is another one on two 70 years old lady, one belief that she is about to die because she is 70 and her body is breaking down and the other 70 year old lady belief what a person is capable of depends on her belief and she decided to go mountain climbing and toughen up her skills. In her 90s Hulda Crooks become the oldest woman who ascent from Mount Fuji.

Most of our belief are generalizations about our past, based on our interpretations of painful and pleasure experiences.

  1. Most of us do not consciously decide what we are going to believe.
  2. Often our believe are based on misinterpretation of our past experience.
  3. Once we adopt a believe, we forgot its merely a interpretation.

We are often being controlled by Giant Generalizations that we are unaware of and it normally starts with these 3 :
Life is … hard or learning journey
I am … not smart enough to start a business or able to learn and grow my business
People are… evil or all nice and helpful.

Once we accepted, the belief becomes unquestioned command to our nervous system. We often limit ourself by the belief that we have. A person who have not succeeded in the past, wont be able to believe they will succeed in the future.

Why the Optimist will succeed and the pessimists fail. We always have this friend who is damn accurate about whatever he says, be it weight lifting or in life. He will be saying to himself 100kg is the max he can lift and all his life 100kg will be what he gets and he is right. However why a optimist will succeed is because a optimist are those friends who you think they are stupid, thinking of lifting 200kg and he just keeps trying don’t know what failure is and one day he get his 200kg lift.

As you can see our Belief shapes our life and our future. Many of us are just unaware of these belief and we let it control our life. Then on our death bed, we regret all the things we have not done. I will end of with this 7 questions for you. Think of a belief you have for example, I am not smart enough to start a business, I am too poor to start, I believe that love will not last and man are will cheat on me.

  1. How is this belief ridiculous or absurd?
  2. Was the person I learn this belief from worth modeling in this area?
  3. What will this belief cost me emotionally if i don’t let go of this belief now?
  4. What will this belief cost me in my relationship if i don’t let go of this belief now?
  5. What will this belief cost me physically if i don’t let go of this belief now?
  6. What will this belief cost me financially if i don’t let go of this belief now?
  7. What will it cost my Family/Loved ones if i don’t let go of this belief now?

 

I will be posting a chapter summary everyday of course I highly recommend you get the book via my link below.