Hi everyone, yesterday we talk about how belief system can actually shape our life by helping us make decision. So it is really important for us to understand what belief we have and keep the ones that is good for us and replace those that is harming us. We cannot reach a goal if we don’t even know what the goal is right? Clarity is power and i hope you had found some negative belief that you had and today we will talk about change. Read On Yesterday Article On Belief System.
Tony Robbins strongly belief that all changes are created in a moment, its just that most of us wait until something happen then we decide to make a shift in our life. So then why many of us think that changes takes a long time? Or you must have heard i need to change bit by bit slowly. I cannot change too fast. That is because most of us uses willpower for the change and after a while, they fail. Willpower is not enough if we want to achieve lasting change.
Second culturally we link negative thoughts to instant change. Instant change to some means you really never had a problem at all. For example, in our culture if your family or love one pass on, we all believe that we need to grieve for a period of time. If today your love one pass on and the next day you didn’t grieve any more so does that means that you didn’t care or you don’t love that person? We change our emotions according to the culture that we are in. In Fact, this example in the book will open up our mind. “There are in fact culture that celebrates when someone passes on, they believe that god knows the right time for us to leave the earth and dieing means graduation! And if you grieve over someone death, it will indicate nothing but your lack of understanding in life. They link pleasure to death and pain to grieve. “
Our brain is such a power tools, it has the ability to link pain and pleasure to our nervous system, so immediately we will be able to react and avoid certain situation. This is how our brain works, anytime we receive any pain or pleasure our brain will start to look for the cause. Your brain uses this 3 criteria
1. Your brain look for something unique
2. Your brain look for something that happen simultaneously.
3. Your brain look for consistency
Because the 3 criteria for forming neuro-associations are so imprecise we often misinterpret and created a false neuro-associations. This example here will show you what exactly it is about and it might sound familiar to you. “A lady who was in a relationship with this guy for 12 years, she is extremely passionate about everything she do. However when the relationship ended she found herself in massive pain. Her brain immediately searches for something unique to this relationship. The brain noted that the relationship has been extremely passionate, instead of thinking it as a beautiful part of the relationship, she began to think that this was why the relationship ended. Then the brain started to look for something that happen simultaneously to the pain, again she noted a great amount of passion before the relationship ended. When she look for something consistent, again passion seems to be the culprit. Because passion made all the 3 criteria, her brain decided that passion must be the reason why the relationship ended painfully. Guess what? She resolved never to feel that amount of passion in a relationship again.” This is really a classic example of a false neuro-association. This belief now guides her to her other relationship and it crippled her the ability to have a better relationship in the future. And because she links pain to her passion, she avoided being passionate at all cost, not only relationship suffer and her work suffer as well. Her whole life when downwards.
Mixed Neuro-Association, a classic source of self sabotage. A very common example is with Money. Many of us link pleasure of money to freedom, security, happiness and Pain to money as well like greed, being judge, need to work hard to get it. Mixed Neuro Association will gives us mix results. We want money which is pleasure however we dont want to work hard for it cause it is painful is a very good example of mixed neuro association.
I hope this give you some fresh ideas and get your brain thinking if what your belief is really helping you or crippling you. Next chapter will be on the 6 step to change! If you guys wish to read ahead. Go to the link below!Thank you for Reading! Hope I can bring more value to your life! Leave a comment and let me know what other topic I should write about!