Today is a busy busy sunday, when to get some office white board for my shop to write down my goals and target to make sure i progress day by day! Then when out to send an order at a huge huge house. Thinking why are these people make so much money, and why are most of us so poor. Than i realise it is the question that i ask, and the direction i am looking at. We are always thinking of how other people do it, instead of how we should do it for ourself. Wasting all the time thinking instead of doing. So back in my shop now continue for todays 10min on Chapter 6 of Awaken The Giant Within Part 2!
Step 4 : Create a New, Empowering Alternative.
Everyone got a bad habit, even a powerful and elegant man like Fran Tarkenton, he love to chew tobacco and he will turn and spit the tobacco out. For 20 years he has been doing this. He is so addicted to chewing tobacco that if you asked him to choose between sex and chewing tobacco he will chew tobacco. After so many years of chewing tobacco he has program himself to link chew tobacco to pleasure. What got him to change was when a friend told him how incongruent it is for him as a man of his status to chew tobacco and it represents the lack of control over his life and directed his focus to tobacco causing him to have mouth cancer. The taste started to disgust him. He then focus his time on building his buisness and created breaking results like never before. Often if we break our old pattern enough, our brain will be able to automatically search for a replacement pattern to give us the feeling we desire.
Statistic has shown that drug addict who go send into a rehabilitation center got force to stop drug once release out most likely will start doing drug again. Drug abuser who truly wanted to quit and did it on their own stop drugs, however when face with high amount of stress starts going back to drug again. The group that replace doing drug with other kinds of fulfillments like relationship, spiritual enlightenment or passion in a new career lasted 8 years or they never when back to drug again. These people uses the first 4 steps of the NAC, why those only lasted 8 years cause they miss out on the 5th Step!
Step 5: Conditioning the new pattern until it is consistent.
“There is nothing training cannot do. Nothing is above its reach. It can turn bad morals to good; it can destroy bad principles and recreate good ones; it can lift men to angelship” – Mark Twain
The Law of Reinforcement. Reinforcement is responding to the behaviours immediately after it occur, while punishment and reward may come later. Timing is everything, a simple example from tony’s daughter jolie. Jolie is very busy with school, dance and play she was in, Jolie boyfriend wanted her to call him everyday, and when she missed a few days and called him, he will give her tremendous amount of pain. He clearly wanted her to call him more frequently, yet his strategy for reinforcement was to push her away when she called. Have you been guilty of this? So what reinforcement strategy should be use when they finally called if you want them to call you more often? What the example above is doing is linking pain to calling you, if it goes on for months and months what do you think will happen to the relationship? You guess it right, it ended. If you truly want some one to call you, when they called tell them how much you miss them, how much you love them. Give them pleasure, will they be more inclined to call you? You bet they will! Remember to always link pleasure to the behaviour you want someone to repeat!
Schedule your reinforcement so change will last. Imagine if you walk pass a begger and gave him money everytime for a few months, and one day you dont have any money with you and you walk by and said, I don’t have any money with me today, and the begger responded with anger. He became anger because i was no longer giving him something that he was thrilled to receive. We need to remember that the element of pleasant surprise if the most enjoyable experiences that a human being can have. Example how we train a dolphin to jump is that everytime he jumps immediately we will reinforce his jump by feeding him a fish. So the Dolphin now links that everytime he jumps he will get a fish, eventually the trainer will only give the dolphin if he jumps higher, by slowly raising the standard, the trainer can shape the dolphin behaviour. The Key here is : if the dolphin is given the fish everytime he jump, he may become habituated and will no longer give a 100% when jumping. We may not have notice how we are slowly becoming habituated to our surrounding and become less and less motivated at work. Think about this and maybe like the fish as salary and jumping as your work. Are you programming yourself right to be motivated at work so you can achieve your success? Or are you sabotaging yourself?
Step 6 is actually to test it! Find out what you want to change and let me know if this 6 Steps help you!
This is not the full chapter of the book of course, its just a summary, if you wish to learn more grab a copy of the book at the link below.