Daily Read 18 : How should we negotiate without giving in?

Hi guy we have come to an end for Tony Robbins Awaken the giant within, the rest of the book is on a 7 day challenge so you if want the book do go to the link below.

Today we will be starting on a new book Getting to Yes! Negotiating an agreement without giving in by Roger Fisher & William Ury.

First Chapter : Don’t Bargain Over Positions

1. Arguing over position gives unwise outcome. For example in a second hand shop. Where the dealer and shopper argue over price. And the position is only on price. The conversion will go on and on and on. Perhaps they will reach agreement; perhaps not. Arguing over positions produces unwise outcomes.

2. When negotiators bargain over positions, they tend to lock themselves into those positions. The more you clarify your position and defend it against attack, the more committed you become to it. The more you try to convince the other side of the impossibility of changing your opening position, the more difficult it becomes to do so. Your ego becomes identified with your position. You now have a new interest in “Saving Face” in reconciling future action with past positions, making it less and less likely that any agreement will wisely reconcile the parties original interest.

3. Arguing over position endangers an ongoing relationship. It becomes a contest of will. Each negotiator asserts what he will and won’t do. If you want to go to the movies with me, it’s avatar or nothing. Anger and resentment often results as one side sees itself bending to the rigid will of the other while its own legitimate concerns go unaddressed. Bitter feeling generated by one such attempt may last a life time.

4. Being nice is no answer. Being nice and giving in to the other party may be a common kind of negotiation in family, friends and love ones. The agreement becomes highly likely, but it may not be a wise one. For example, a story of an impoverished couple in which the loving wife sells her hair in order to buy a handsome chain for her husband’s watch, and the unknowing husband sells his watch in order to buy beautiful combs for his wife’s hair.

5. Separate the people from the problem. Be soft on the people hard on the problem.

6. Focus on interests, not positions. Explore interests, avoid having a bottom line.

7. Invent multiple options looking for mutual gains before deciding what to do. Develop multiple options to choose from, decide later.

8. Insist that the result be based on some objective standard. Try to reach a result based on standards independent of will. Reason and be open to reason; yield to principle, not pressure.

9. Analyse and diagnose the situation. Gather information, organise it, and think about it.

10. Each side should come to understand the interest of the other. Both can then jointly generate options that are mutually advantageous and seek agreement on objective standards for resolving opposed interests.