Daily Read 4 : How To Change Anything In Your Life Part 2

Today is a busy busy sunday, when to get some office white board for my shop to write down my goals and target to make sure i progress day by day! Then when out to send an order at a huge huge house. Thinking why are these people make so much money, and why are most of us so poor. Than i realise it is the question that i ask, and the direction i am looking at. We are always thinking of how other people do it, instead of how we should do it for ourself. Wasting all the time thinking instead of doing. So back in my shop now continue for todays 10min on Chapter 6 of Awaken The Giant Within Part 2!

Step 4 : Create a New, Empowering Alternative.

Everyone got a bad habit, even a powerful and elegant man like Fran Tarkenton, he love to chew tobacco and he will turn and spit the tobacco out. For 20 years he has been doing this. He is so addicted to chewing tobacco that if you asked him to choose between sex and chewing tobacco he will chew tobacco. After so many years of chewing tobacco he has program himself to link chew tobacco to pleasure. What got him to change was when a friend told him how incongruent it is for him as a man of his status to chew tobacco and it represents the lack of control over his life and directed his focus to tobacco causing him to have mouth cancer. The taste started to disgust him. He then focus his time on building his buisness and created breaking results like never before. Often if we break our old pattern enough, our brain will be able to automatically search for a replacement pattern to give us the feeling we desire.

Statistic has shown that drug addict who go send into a rehabilitation center got force to stop drug once release out most likely will start doing drug again. Drug abuser who truly wanted to quit and did it on their own stop drugs, however when face with high amount of stress starts going back to drug again. The group that replace doing drug with other kinds of fulfillments like relationship, spiritual enlightenment or passion in a new career lasted 8 years or they never when back to drug again. These people uses the first 4 steps of the NAC, why those only lasted 8 years cause they miss out on the 5th Step!

Step 5: Conditioning the new pattern until it is consistent.

“There is nothing training cannot do. Nothing is above its reach. It can turn bad morals to good; it can destroy bad principles and recreate good ones; it can lift men to angelship” – Mark Twain

The Law of Reinforcement. Reinforcement is responding to the behaviours immediately after it occur, while punishment and reward may come later. Timing is everything, a simple example from tony’s daughter jolie. Jolie is very busy with school, dance and play she was in, Jolie boyfriend wanted her to call him everyday, and when she missed a few days and called him, he will give her tremendous amount of pain. He clearly wanted her to call him more frequently, yet his strategy for reinforcement was to push her away when she called. Have you been guilty of this? So what reinforcement strategy should be use when they finally called if you want them to call you more often? What the example above is doing is linking pain to calling you, if it goes on for months and months what do you think will happen to the relationship? You guess it right, it ended. If you truly want some one to call you, when they called tell them how much you miss them, how much you love them. Give them pleasure, will they be more inclined to call you? You bet they will! Remember to always link pleasure to the behaviour you want someone to repeat!

Schedule your reinforcement so change will last. Imagine if you walk pass a begger and gave him money everytime for a few months, and one day you dont have any money with you and you walk by and said, I don’t have any money with me today, and the begger responded with anger. He became anger because i was no longer giving him something that he was thrilled to receive. We need to remember that the element of pleasant surprise if the most enjoyable experiences that a human being can have. Example how we train a dolphin to jump is that everytime he jumps immediately we will reinforce his jump by feeding him a fish. So the Dolphin now links that everytime he jumps he will get a fish, eventually the trainer will only give the dolphin if he jumps higher, by slowly raising the standard, the trainer can shape the dolphin behaviour. The Key here is : if the dolphin is given the fish everytime he jump, he may become habituated and will no longer give a 100% when jumping. We may not have notice how we are slowly becoming habituated to our surrounding and become less and less motivated at work. Think about this and maybe like the fish as salary and jumping as your work. Are you programming yourself right to be motivated at work so you can achieve your success? Or are you sabotaging yourself?

Step 6 is actually to test it! Find out what you want to change and let me know if this 6 Steps help you!

This is not the full chapter of the book of course, its just a summary, if you wish to learn more grab a copy of the book at the link below.

 

 

Daily Read 3 : How To Change Anything In Your Life Part 1

Hello People, yesterday we talk about how our belief shapes us and affect our daily life unconsciously. I believe most of you could identify a few of your belief or from some of the examples give you can relate it to yourself. Today we are going to break those belief that is not helpful to us and add on a new empowering neuro pattern. You can read my yesterday post here (can change happen in a instant).

“The beginning of a habit is like an invisible thread, but every time we repeat the act we strengthen the strand, add to it another filament, until it becomes a great cable and binds us irrevocably, thought and act.” -Orison Swett Marden

To change our behavior, there is only one effective way to do it. Link extreme pain to our old behavior. There are 6 simple steps to follow which is called the Neuro-Associative Conditioning (NAC). This chapter is pretty long, so i am going to share a short story for every part of the 6 steps that i feel is most important to me.

Step 1 : Decide what you really want and what’s preventing you from having it now?
Basically this means that we need to have a goal in mind. So we know where we want to move forward to. For example some people goal is to be happy. So people goal is to get that business deal. We want a happy relationship. And what is stopping us from getting to our goal. For example the fear of the unknown for change.

Step 2: Get Leverage : Associate Massive Pain to Not Changing Now and Massive Pleasure to the Experience of Changing Now!
If someone points a gun at your head and request you to get out of your depressed state right now and be happy many of us will immediately be able to snap out of the depressed state and be happy. That is leverage. So we need to create a leverage that is so strong that we will be compelled to follow through. Many of us are stuck in a bad relationship, we want to be happy however and we know that by leaving that harmful relationship will make us happy but we tell ourself what if we cannot find someone better, what if nobody wants me or better still this person that is hurting me might change. The fear of the unknown is a more power motivating force for you to not do anything. This kind of thinking is what stopping us from making changes. So one day the pain of being in that negative relationship became greater than the fear of unknown, so you hit a threshold and made the change!

Another way of leverage for people who are trying to lose weight. There is lady who share her story of how THE ALPO DIET. So she and her friend has finally decided that its enough they agree that they need to lose weight. They decided to commit to each other anStd a group of friends that if they break their promise this time, they would each have to eat a whole can of ALPO Dog Food. Each of them have a can of ALPO dog food on their table, if time they are feeling their hunger pangs, they will pick up the dog food and read the label. “With ingredients boasting horsemeat chunks” and they found no difficulty in sticking to their commitment and they achieved their goals.

The greatest leverge you can create for yourself is the pain that comes from inside, not outside. knowing that you have failed to live up to your own standards for your life is the ultimate pain. One of the strongest forces in human personality is the drive to preserve the integrity of our own identify. Externally forcing someone to change does work for a while, however for lasting change, it has to happen from the inside. How do we do that? By asking question on what this belief will lead us to in our relationship, our life, physically, emotionally, financially and spiritually.

Step 3: Interrupt The Limiting Pattern
A CD that is playing normally can be interrupted by taking a needle scratching a dozens of times and the will never play the same way again. So how can we do it? One of the method in the book called The Scramble Pattern. There is 3 steps to making this works. 1) See the situation in your mind that was bothering you so much. 2) Take that same experience and turn it into a cartoon. Play the cartoon now in your mind and send the image as far back so you can see everything. Now let the movie run backwards in fast motion and see them swallow their words. Now change colour of the image particularly to the person who upsets you, make their ears grow like mickey mouse or nose go longer like pinocchio. Do it a dozen of times To and Fro. 3) Now think about the situation that was bothering you, and notice how you feel now.

This Chapter is really packed with lots of mind blowing information and i will continued part 2 in tomorrows daily read! Thanks for reading! As always if you want to purchase tony’s book awaken the giant within do go to the link below!