Many times we think that fair is dividing for example an orange into 2, half goes to the first child and the other to the second. However the first child ate the fruit and threw away the peel and the second child threw away the fruit and dried the peel to bake a cake. Many negotiation end up with half an orange for each side instead of the whole fruit for one and the whole peel for the other.
1. Obstacle that inhibits the inventing of abundance of options 1: Premature judgement, nothing is so harmful to inventing as a critical sense waiting to pounce on the drawbacks of any new idea. Judgement hinders imagination. If you wish for a pay raise of $5000 and your boss counter with $1500. A figure that is unsatisfactory. In a tense situation like this you are not likely to start inventing imaginative solutions. You may fear that if you suggest something stupid you will be shoot down and rejected.
2. Obstacle that inhibits the inventing of abundance of options 2: Everyone is searching for a single answer. We tend to think, we are having a hard enough time agreeing as it is. The last thing we want is a bunch of different ideas. Since the end product of a negotiation is a single decision, we fear that free floating discussion will only delay and confuse the process.
3. Obstacle that inhibits the inventing of abundance of options 3: The assumption of a fixed pie, people always think in a fixed sum game, $100 more for you on the price means $100 less for me. Why bother to invent if all the options are obvious and i can satisfy you only at my own expense?
4. Obstacle that inhibits the inventing of abundance of options 4: Thinking that solving their problem is their problem. Shortsighted self concern thus leads a negotiator to develop only partisan positions, partisan arguments, and one sided solutions.
5. Solution : Separate inventing from deciding, invent first, decide if it will work later. Brainstorm for ideas, people need not fear looking foolish since wild ideas are explicitly encouraged, there is no right way to run a brainstorming session.
6. Solution : Broaden your options, at this stage of negotiation we are not looking for the right path but looking for room to develop for negotiation. The key to wise decision making, wheather in wine making, sports, or negotiation, lies in selecting from a great number and variety of options.
7. Solution : Look at the problem from multiple expert. From a banker, accountant, coach, lawyer.
8. Solution : Look for mutual gains. The Chess game may always seem like a either you win or i lose game. Not until a dog trots by and knocks over the table, spills the beer, and leaves you both worse off than before.
9. Focus on the differences in interest and belief make it possible for an item to be of high benefit to you, yet low cost to the other side.
Jack sprat could eat no fat
his wife could eat no lean,
and so betwixt them both
They licked the platter clean.
10. Ask for their preferences, one way to dovetail interests is to invent several options all equally acceptable to you and ask the other side which one they prefer. You want to know what is preferable, not necessarily what is acceptable.
Hope this 10 points opens up your mind in negotiating, its never one way to solve a problem. If you want to know more do get the book from amazon here.