Daily Read : How to use resources around us to create success.

Today’s Daily Read : How to get from where you are to where you wanna be. The 25 Principles of Success by – Jack Canfield

dailyread33

The Secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex, overwhelming tasks into small manageable task, and then starting on the first one. -Mark Twain.

1) Breaking difficult task into smaller pieces. First step : Consult someone who has already done what you want to do and ask what steps they took. Or you can purchase a BOOK or manual that outlines the process.

2) Its okay to ask for guidance, sometimes you can get it free, sometimes you just got to pay for it. Get used to asking!

3) Use mind mapping to identify what small steps needs to be taken.

4) Convert all items on the mind map to your daily to do list! Schedule them in order into your calendar and do whatever it takes to stay on schedule!

5) Eat the ugly frog first. It’s a system by Brian Tracy which simply means identify 5 of the most important task you need to accomplish today and choose 1 that you absolutely must do and do that first. That is the ugliest frog.

6) Plan your day the night before and your subconscious mind will work on these tasks all night long. You will be ahead of most people who wasted their morning clearing their desk, making lists, finding necessary paperwork.

7) One of the great things about living in todays world is that people in this world and most of the things have been documented in books, audio, video or seminars. Meaning if you want to be successful you can! If you want to have better relationship with your spouse, you can red a book on relationship. Take advantage of this information and follow the blueprint, use the system, and you will be on your way to success.

8) Some common reasons why we don’t seek out resources around us. 1. It never occurs to us. 2. Its inconvenient 3. Asking other for advice or information puts us up against our fear of rejection. 4. Connecting the dots in a new way would mean change and change is uncomfortable. 5. Connecting the dots means hard work, frankly nobody wants to work that hard.

9) Seek out a teacher, coach or mentor to help you achieve your major goals.

10) Ask someone if you can shadow them for a day and watch them work. Offer to be a volunteer, assistant, or intern for someone you think you can learn from.

 

As always you can get the book here from Amazon or download kindle apps on your ipad and buy from the web!

Daily Read : The reasons that are holding you back.

Today’s Daily Read : How to get from where you are to where you wanna be. The 25 Principles of Success by – Jack Canfield

dailyread32

1) There will be obstacles to your success. But fear not we have identified them for you. They are Considerations, Fears and Roadblocks.

2) Consideration are reasons you give yourself on why you shouldn’t attempt the goal. All the reasons why it is impossible. Things like you will have to get up two hours earlier every day. You could get hurt. I will have to work double hard. No worries once you identify what they are it will be easy to deal with.

3) Fears, Fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear or making a fool of yourself. Feel is just a feeling. Fears are not unusual, they are just part of the process.

4) Roadblocks are external circumstances. Roadblock may be that nobody wants to join you on your projects. You don’t have the money. Or it rains when you are trying to do a outdoor concert. Understand that roadblocks are not unusual as well, they are just part of the process.

5) Do not see considerations, fears and roadblocks as stop sign but rather as a normal part of the process that will always appear. Learn to deal with it.

6) All these are supposed to appear. If they don’t, it means you haven’t set that big enough goal to stretch you to grow. It means there is no real potential for self-development.

7) Welcome considerations, fear and roadblocks when they appear, because many times they are the very things that have been holding you back in life. Once you can see these subconscious thoughts, feelings and obstacles, once you are aware of them, you can face them, process them and deal with them.

8) You want to set a goal that is big enough that in the process of achieving it you become someone worth becoming, – Jim Rohn

9) To achieve big goal, you are going to have to become a bigger person. You are going to have to develop new sills, new attitudes, and new capabilities. Youa re going to have to stretch yourself, and in so doing, you will be stretched forever. You can lose the material things, but you can never lose your mastery.

10) Write down your goals, Review it daily, and do something that moves you towards those goals daily.

As always you can get the book here from Amazon or download kindle apps on your ipad and buy from the web!

Daily Read : Set Goals that will lead you to success.

Today’s Daily Read : How to get from where you are to where you wanna be. The 25 Principles of Success by – Jack Canfield

bruceleeselfnote

1) Expert on the science of success know the brain is a goal seeking organism. Whatever goal you give to your subconscious mind, it will work night and day to achieve.

2) Be specific about your goal. How much, by when?

3) Differentiate between a goal and a good idea. A goal for example will be I will weigh 185lb by 5pm, January 1 2006. A good idea will be I want to lose weight.

4) Write out your goals in details is the best way to get clarity and specificity on your goals.

5) When you write it down, your subconscious mind will know what to work on. It will know which opportunity to hone in on to help you reach your goal.

6) Make goals that challenge you, make big goals that will make you feel uncomfortable as the ultimate goals in life is to become a mater at life.

7) Set a breakthrough goal. A breakthrough goal is something that will have a big impact in your life. A quantum leap in your progress. Things like writing a book, getting your doctoral degree, getting licensed, opening your own spa, getting elected president of your union or professional association or your own radio show. The achievement of that one goal would change everything.

8) Have your goals written and keep it constantly with you. Reread it everyday. Keep it in your wallet, write it in your business card. The goals that Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen had in their wallet for chicken soup for the soul, “I am so happy selling 1.5million copies of chicken soup for the soul by December 30, 1994.

9) If you are bored with life, if you don’t get up every morning with a burning desire to do things, you don’t have enough goals. – Lou Holtz

10) Write down all the goals you wish to achieve before you die. Write it down in vivid details, noting where, when and how much, which model, what size and so on. Write yourself a letter for the future you what you want to achieve. Write yourself a check.

As always you can get the book here from Amazon or download kindle apps on your ipad and buy from the web!

Daily Read : How to always look for the good in every event.

jack canfield

Today’s Daily Read : How to get from where you are to where you want to be. The 25 Principles of Success by – Jack Canfield

1) Instead of seeing every problem as a negative, w.clement stone see it as something that was meant to enrich him, empower him, or advances his causes.

2) Successful people believe that every problem and encounter is here to support him and bring him opportunity.

3) Instead of looking at the world hates me, but as a opportunity to grow and change and succeed. Its all about the perspective you have in life.

4) If the company fires you, you can take it as a opportunity for you to finally go for your dream job!

5) Every negative event contains within it the seed of an equal or greater benefit. – Napoleon Hill

6) When life hands you a lemon, squeeze it and make lemonade.

7) Look for opportunity in everything, ask this question in every interaction in your life. What’s the potential opportunity that this is?

8) Whenever things don’t turn out the way you want it to be, for example you didn’t get selected for your basketball team. Tell yourself there is something better in store for me.

9) Always believe that all that happen to you is leading you the bigger you and what you are here for.

10) Always look for the good in every event.

I have always been the opposite of a paranoid. I operate as if everyone is part of a plot to enhance my well-being. – Stan Dale

As always you can get the book here from Amazon or download kindle apps on your ipad and buy from the web!

Daily Read : Believe in Yourself, How to focus on your goals to succeed!

Believe in yourself
Believe in yourself

Today’s Daily Read : How to get from where you are to where you wanna be. The 25 Principles of Success by – Jack Canfield

You can be anything you want to be, if only you believe with sufficient conviction and act in accordance with your faith; for “Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve – Napoleon Hill

1) An experiment had been done on patients with knee problem. One group had their knee surgery and the other group when through a “nothing” operation. Two years after surgery, patients who underwent the pretend surgery reported the same amount of relief from pain and swelling as those who had received the actual treatments. The brain expected the “surgery: to improve the knee, and it did.

2) Believe in yourself, you weren’t an accident. You weren’t mass produced. You aren’t an assembly line product. You were deliberately planned, specifically gifted, and lovingly positioned on the Earth by the Master Craftsman – Max Lucado

4) Believing in yourself is a choice! It is an attitude you develop over time.

5) Past is the past, there is no payoff for blaming them for your current level of self confidence. Its now your responsibility to take charge of your own self concept and your beliefs. With all the training and resources out there today anyone can learn to do almost anything.

6) If you assume in favor of yourself and act as if it is possible, then you will do the things that are necessary to bring about the result. If you believe it is impossible, you will not do what is necessary, and you will not produce the result.

7) It is not what life hands you but how you respond to it, mentally and physically, that matters most.

8) If you want to be successful you need to give up the phrase “I can’t” and all of its cousins, such as “I wish I were able to” the word “I can’t” actually disempower you.

9) What others think about you is none of your business. You have to believe in yourself when no one else does. That’s what makes you a winner. If having others believing in you and your dream was a requirement for success, most of us would never accomplish anything.

10) 18/40/60 rule by Dr. Daniel. At 18 you worry about what everybody is thinking of you; at 40 you don’t give a darn what anybody thinks of you; when you are 60 you realise nobody’s been thinking about you at all.

Believe in yourself and go for it. Sooner or later, those who win are those who think they can – Richard Bach

Don’t wait until you are 63 to decide that you can do anything you want. Don’t waste years of your life. Decide that you are capable of doing anything you want and start working towards it now.

As always you can get the book here from Amazon or download kindle apps on your ipad and buy from the web!

Daily Read : 10 Points to find the compass that will lead you to your dreams.

how to get from where you are to where you want to be
how to get from where you are to where you want to be

Today’s Daily Read : How to get from where you are to where you wanna be. The 25 Principles of Success by – Jack Canfield

 1) Everyone is born with a life purpose. Identifying, acknowledging, and honoring this purpose are probably the most important action successful people take.

2) Without a purpose in life, it’s easy to get side tracked on your life’s journey. It’s easy to wander and drift, accomplishing little.

3) To be on a purpose means, doing what you love to do, doing what you are good at and accomplishing what’s important to you.

4) Decide upon your major definite purpose in life and then organize all your activities around it.

5) Without purpose as the compass to guide you, your goals and action plans may not ultimately fulfill you. You don’t want to get to the top of the ladder only to find out you had it leaning up against the wrong wall. Many times we fall into the dreams of our parents, want us to be a vet or a doctor. In the end we realize that’s not what we want to do and that’s not what make us happy.

6) The first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: decide what you want. Think about it as you now found a magic lamp and you are given chances to make a wish what will you wish for?

7) Stop settling for less than you want. You will have to stop saying “I don’t care, it doesn’t matter to me or the current favorite of teenagers, whatever. Ask yourself, If I did know, what would it be? If I did care, which would I prefer? If it did matter, what would I rather do?

8) Always dream big dreams. Big dreams attract big people. The difference between super achiever and normal is that super achiever dream big.

9) Don’t let anyone talk you out of your vision. They will tell you that you are crazy and that it can’t be done. There will be those who will laugh at you and try to bring you down to their level. Don’t listen to those dream stealers.

10) When Monty was in high school, his teacher gave the class the assignment to write about what they wanted to do when they grew up. Monty wrote that he wanted to own his own 200 acre ranch and raise thoroughbred race horses. His teacher gave him a F and explained that the grade reflected that he deemed his dream unrealistic. When he offered Monty the chance of rewriting his paper for a higher grade, Monty told him, “You keep the F; I am keeping my dream” (good job son!) And today Monty owns his 154 acre flag is up farms in solvang, California, raises thoroughbred racehorses and train hundreds of hourse trainers In a more humane way to “join up” with and train horses.

The greater danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it – Michelangelo

If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want., and all that is left is a compromise. – Robert Fritz.

As always you can get the book here from Amazon or download kindle apps on your ipad and buy from the web!

Daily Read : Take 100% Responsibility for your Life.

how to get from where you are to where you want to be
Today’s Daily Read : How to get from where you are to where you wanna be. The 25 Principles of Success by – Jack Canfield

 Principle 1, we are going to be responsible to everything we do in our life. You must take personal responsibility, you cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. – Jim Rohn

1. One of the most pervasive myths in the American culture today is that we are entitled to a great life. Like so in Singapore our generation now believe that life should be easy and we can always take the easy way out. When things don’t go our way we often blame everything except our self.

2. So first to change we need to understand that there is only one person responsible for the quality of the life you live. That person is you. Stop hiding behind your parents back and grow up.

3. Story : A man lost his keys, so he was looking under the streetlamp. So another man came along and asked what is he searching for, he said he lost his key. So the both of them continue searching that area for hours. The other guy said are you sure you lost it here? He replied “No, I lost it in my house, but there is more light out here under the streetlamp.” Its funny, but we all do this all the time.

4. When asked if you are willing to take 100% responsibility of your life, many might say I think so. We often let our self go easily but not taking a stand. However to succeed in life, there is only YES, OR NO.

5. 99% of all failures come from people who have a habit of making excuses

6. If something doesn’t turn out as planned, you will ask yourself, How did I create that? What was I think? What were my beliefs? What did I say or not say? What did I do or not do to create that result? How did I get the other person to act this way? What do I need to do differently next time to get the result I want?

7. You can blame the economy, the weather, the lack of money. However if these were the deciding factor, nobody would ever succeed.

8. Lots of people overcome these so called limiting factors, so it can’t be the limiting factors that limit you. It is not the external conditions and circumstances that stop you, it is you!

9. In a traffic jam, a CNN reporter interviewed the first car, he said I hate California, first there were fires, then floods, and now an earthquake! No matter what time I leave in the morning, I am going to be late for work, I cant’t believe it. Second car responds were slightly different, he said, its no problem, I left my house at 5am, I don’t think under the circumstances my boss can ask for more than that. I have lots of music cassettes and I got my cell phone. I have coffee in a thermos and my lunch. I even brought a book to read. So I am fine. Its not the rain, but its learning how to dance in the rain.

10. Everything you experience today is the result of choices you have made in the past. So if you keep doing what you are doing, you will keep getting the result you always got. So stop complaining, stop those excuses and its time to Take Charge!

As always you can get the book here from Amazon or download kindle apps on your ipad and buy from the web!

Daily Read : Mindset of a successful person.

jack canfield

Today’s Daily Read : How to get from where you are to where you wanna be. The 25 Principles of Success by – Jack Canfield

To start off the book, we will start with what this book is about, it is not a book of good ideas. This is a book of timeless principles used by successful men and women throughout history. The Principles taught in this book will always work if you work the principles! So here we go the first 10 points for the introduction!

1. Anyone can consistently produce results on a regular basis. All we have to do is decide what it is you want, believe you deserve it, and practice the success principles in this book.

2. You can’t hire someone else to do your push ups for you! Principles will be taught in this book however you gotta do the hardwork!

3. First we need to take responsibility for your life and your results. Stop blaming everything around you except yourself.

4. Second we got to clarify our life purpose, our vision and what we truly want.

5. Third learn how to create unshakable belief in yourself and your dreams.

6. Fourth learn how to ask for what we want and reject rejections.

7. Fifth learn how to surround yourself with successful people.

8. Sixth we will learn how to clean up any physical and emotional messes we had and complete all the incompletes in our life.

9. Believe nothing. No matter where you read it, or who said it, even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense –Buddha

10. Warning: we may feel frustrated at not knowing about all of this earlier, anger at your parents and teachers for not teaching you these important concepts at home and at school, or anger at yourself for having already learned many of these things and not having acted on them. Just take a deep breath and realize that this is all part of the process of your journey. Everything in the past has actually been perfect. Everything in your past has led you to this transformative moment in time. Everyone including you has always done the best they could with what they knew at the time. Now you are about to know more. Celebrate your new awareness! It is about to set you free!

As always you can get the book here from Amazon or download kindle apps on your ipad and buy from the web!

Daily Read : How to negotiate with the bad guys

getting to yes
When negotiating, everything is good if the other party play by the rules, what if they play dirty? Or what if they escalate their demands just when you are on the verge of agreement? How are you going to deal with it?

1. Recognising what tactic the other side is using and raise the issue explicitly, and question the tactic’s legitimacy and desirability.

2. Separate the people from the problem, don’t attack the people personally for using a tactic you consider illegitimate. If they get defensive it may be more difficult for them to give up the tactic.

3. Focus on interests, not positions, invent options for mutual gain and insist on using objective criteria.

4. Most common dirty tricks will be misrepresentation about facts, authority or intentions. If you are buying a car for example they will say This car was driven only 5000 miles by a little old lady who never went over 35 miles per hour. Disentangle the people from the problem. Unless you have good reason to trust somebody. Do not let someone treat your doubt as personal attack, it is not. No seller is going to give you a watch or car simply in exchange of your statement that you have money in the bank. So a practice of verifying factual assertions reduces the incentive for deception, and your risk of being cheated.

5. Ambiguous authority, after settling a agreement, the person suddenly say he have to double check with someone else for approval, this technique is designed to give them a second bite at the apple. Do not assume the other side has full authority just because they are there negotiating with you. Before starting on any give and take, find out about the authority on the other side.

6. Psychological warfare, these tactics are designed to make you feel uncomfortable, so that you will have a subconscious desire to end the negotiation as soon as possible. Like Stressful situations. Physical circumstances, like too hot, too noisy, too cold, meeting at your place or theirs. If you find the surrounding prejudicial, do not hesitate to say so and suggest a change.

7. Personal attacks, someone might use verbal or nonverbal communication to make you feel uncomfortable, they can comment on your clothes or your appearance. Looks like you were up all night, things not going well at the office? They can attack your status by making you wait for them or by interrupting the negotiations to deal with other people. In each case, recognising the tactic and bringing it up will probably prevent a recurrence.

8. Good guy and a bad guy routine, they will appear to be fighting in front of you. The first policeman threatens the suspect with prosecution for numerous crimes, put him under a bright light, pushes him around, then finally takes a break and leaves. The good guy then turn off the light, offers the suspect a cigarette, and apologise for the tough policeman. He says he would like to control the tough guy, but he can’t unless the suspect cooperates. The result: the suspect tells all he knows. What we can do is always go back to the objective and ask back the question, why do you think this is a fair deal?

9. What can we do if the other side refuse to negotiate? Recognise the tactic as a possible negotiating ploy. Don’t attack their refusal but communicate either directly or through third parties. Find out why they are not interested in negotiating. Lastly insist on using principles, like will they want others to refuse to negotiate with them? What are the principles they think should apply to this situation?

10. It is important to decide what it means to negotiate in “good faith” Is this the way i will negotiate with a family member or good friend? If a full account of what i said and did appeared in the media will i be embarrassed? Will i be a hero or a villain?

Set it right before you start and negotiate with principle and cut off the villain, to me if the other party is really in for a fair deal you are on the right track. If not this person is just a bad guy not worth working with.

A book not to miss!

Daily Read : Negotiation Jujitsu

dailyread24
After all the negotiation skills that you have learn, what if the other side just don’t wanna negotiate what can we do? Regardless what proposal you give, they keep attacking, concerned only with maximising their own gains. What can we do to turn them away from positions and towards the merits?

1. If the other side announces a firm position, you may be tempted to criticise and reject it. If tjeu criticise your proposal, you may be tempted to defend it and dig yourself in. If they attack you, you may be tempted to defend yourself and counterattack. In short, if they push you hard, you will tend to push back. Rejecting their position will only lock them in. Defending your proposal only locks you in.

2. If pushing doesn’t work what does? Do not push back. When they assert their positions, do not reject them. When they attack your ideas, don’t defend them. When they attack you, don’t counterattack. Break the vicious cycle by refusing to react. Instead of pushing back, sidestep their attack and deflect it against the problem.

3. Don’t attack their position, look behind it. When the other party set your position neither reject it nor accept it. treat it as one possible option. Look for the interests behind it, seek out the principles that it reflects, and think about ways to improve it.

4. Don’t defend your ideas, invite criticism and advice, instead of accepting or rejecting an idea, ask them whats wrong with it.

5. Turn around and ask them for advice, ask them what would they do if they are in your shoes.

6. Recast an attack on you as an attack on the problem. When the other side attack you personally, resist the temptation to attack back. Instead sit back and allow them to let off steam. Listen to them and show you understand what they are saying. And when they finish recast their attack on you to the problem. For example teachers going on strike. When you say that a strike shows we don’t care about the children, i hear your concern about the children’s education. I want you to know that we share this concern, they are our children and our students. We want the strike to end so we can go back to educating them. What can we both do now to reach an agreement as quickly as possible?

7. Ask questions and pause, questions offer them no target to strike at, no position to attack., Questions do not criticise, the educate. If you have asked an honest question to which they have provided an insufficient answer, just wait. People tend to feel uncomfortable with silence, particularly if they have doubts about the merits of something they have said. Silence often creates the impression of a stalemate that the other side will feel impelled to break by answering your question or coming up with a new suggestion.

8. If it didn’t work, try getting in a third party. In the example of a wife and husband negotiating about the house decor, they can get in a architect to be the third party. More easily than one of those directly involved, a mediator can separate the people from the problem and direct the discussion to interests and options.

9. After a few plans, when the architect feels that he can no longer improve it, he says this is the best i can do. Each spouse now has only one decision to make, yes or no. And a yes answer can be made contingent on the other side’s also saying yes. The one text procedure not only shifts the game away from positional bargaining, it greatly simplifies the process both of inventing options and of deciding jointly on one.

10. Always remember attack the problem. Not the person. Our concern is fairness. Trust is a separate issue. Let me see if i understand what you are saying.

 

Daily Read : What if they are more powerful?

What do we do if the person you are negotiating with is more powerful than you are? Meaning they have more money, their position in office is higher than you or they are better connected than you.

But of course if you enter an antique store to buy a sterling silver George IV tea set worth thousands of dollar and all you have is one hundred dollar bill, you should not expect skillful negotiation to overcome the difference. In any negotiation there exist realities that are hard to change. In response to power, the most any method of negotiation can do is to meet two objectives: first, to protect you against making an agreement you should reject and second, to help you make the most of the assets you do have so that any agreement you reach will satisfy your interests as well as possible.

1. If you are protecting yourself using bottom line, it may cost you. If you are buying, a bottom line is the highest price you would pay. If you are selling, a bottom line is the lowest you will go. Having a bottom line makes it easier to resist pressure and temptations of the moment. However having a bottom line also inhibits imagination. It reduces the incentive to invent a tailor made solution that would reconcile differing interests in a way more advantageous for both you and them.

2. Know your BATNA, Best alternative to negotiated agreement. Always have careful thought about what you will do if you fail to reach an agreement.

3. The Insecurity of an unknown BATNA may cause you to be too optimistic and assume that you have many other choices, other houses for sale, other buyers for your secondhand car, other plumbers, other jobs available or other wholesaler and so on.

4. Some of us may avoid BATNA. Thinking that this buyer or the next buyer is going to give you a attractive offer. You may avoid facing the question of what you will do if no agreement is reached. You may think to yourself, “lets negotiate first and see what happens. However, having at least a tentative answer to the question is absolutely essential if you are to conduct your negotiations wisely.

5. Formulating your trip wire, “Don’t sell for less than $258,000, the price i paid plus interest, until you have talked to me.” is a trip wire. A trip wire should provide you with some margin in reserve. If after reaching the standard reflected in your trip wire you decide to call in a mediator, you have left him with something on your side to work with.

6. The better your BATNA, the greater your power.

7. We often think that negotiating power comes from wealth, political connections, physical strength, friends, and military might. In fact, the relative negotiating power of two parties depends primarily upon how attractive to each is the option of not reaching agreement.

8. Consider a wealthy tourist who wants to buy a small brass pot for a modest price from a vendor at the mumbai railroad station. The vendor may be poor, but she is likely to know the market. If she does not sell the pot to this tourist, she can sell it to another. From her experience she can estimate when and for how much she could sell it to someone else. The tourist may be wealthy and powerful but in this negotiation he will be weak indeed unless he knows approximately how much it would cost and how difficult it would be to find a comparable pot else where.

9. Think for a moment about how you would feel walking into a job interview with no other jobs offers, only some uncertain leads. Think how the talk about salary would go. Now contrast that with how you would feel walking in with two other job offers. How would that salary negotiation proceed? The difference is power.

10. Always consider the other side’s BATNA. The more you know about their BATNA the better prepared you are for negotiation.

As always thanks for reading and if you are looking for the book, it can be found in big book stall or amazon.

 

Daily Read : Insist on Using Objective Criteria

However well you understand the interests of the other side, however ingeniously you invent ways of reconciling interests, however highly you value an ongoing relationship, you will almost always face the harsh reality of interests that conflict. No talk of “win-win: strategies can conceal that fact. You want the goods delivered tomorrow; the supplier would rather deliver them next week. You definitely prefer the large office with the view; so does your partner. Such differences cannot be swept under the rug.

1. No negotiation is likely to be efficient or amicable if you pit your will against theirs, and either you have to back down or they do. Trying to settle differences of interest on the basis of will has high costs, the solution is to negotiate on some basis independent of the will of either side, that is, on the basis of objective criteria.

2. Commit yourself to reaching a solution based on principle, not pressure. Concentrate on the merits of the problem, not the mettle of the parties. Be open to reason, but closed to threats.

3. A constant battle for dominance threatens a relationship; principled negotiation protects it. It is far easier to deal with people when both of you are discussing objective standards for settling a problem instead of trying to force each other to back down. The third world bloc, proposed an initial fee for companies mining in the deep seabed of $60 million per site. The united states rejected the proposal, suggesting there be no initial fee. Both sides dug in; the matter became a contest of will (battle of dominance). Then someone discovered that the MIT had developed a model for the economics of deep seabed mining, The model, gradually accepted by the parties as objective, provided a way of evaluating the impact of any fee proposal on the economics of mining. When the indian representation saw how the tremendous fee he proposed, can only be payable five years before the mine would generate any revenue, would make it virtually impossible for a company to mine. Impressed, he announced that he would reconsider his position. No one backed down, no one appeared weak, just reasonable. After a lengthy negotiation, the parties reached a tentative agreement that was mutually satisfactory. (objective)

3. So how do we develop our objective? First it must be based on Fair Standards. For Example your car is demolished and you file a claim with an insurance company. In discussion with the adjuster, you will need 1 the original cost of the car less depreciation, 2 what the car could have been sold for, 3. the standard blue book value for a car of that year and model, 4. what is would cost to replace that car with a comparable one and 5. what a court might award as the value of the car.

4. Fair Procedures. An old age way of dividing a cake between 2 children. One cuts and the other chooses. Neither can complain about an unfair division.

5. Frame each issue as a joint search for objective criteria. Reason and be open to reason as to which standards are most appropriate and how they should be applied. Never yield to pressure, only to principle.

6. Ask “What’s your theory?” If some one is giving you a price of $255,000 for your house. Ask what is the theory behind it. How did you arrive at this figure.

7. He might answer, my neighbour is sold his apartment next door for $260,000 so i think it is fair to price at $255,000. So if this is your theory, lets look at what the house on the corner of Ellsworth and Oxford and the one at Broadway and Dana were sold for.

8. Never yield to pressure, Pressure can take many forms, a bribe, a threat, a manipulative appeal to trust, or a simple refusal to budge. In all cases, the principled response is the same, invite them to state their reasoning, suggest objective criteria you think apply, and refuse to budge expect on this basis. Never yield to pressure, only to principle

9. Principled negotiation allow you to hold your own and still be fair. Principle serves as your hardhearted partner who will not let you yield to pressure. It is a form of “right makes might”.

10. If there is no give in their position and you find no principled basis for accepting it, you should asses what you might gain by accepting, their unjustified position rather than going to your best alternative. You should weigh that substantive benefit against the benefit to your reputation as a principled negotiator that could come from walking away.

Hope this gives you some ideas for you to negotiate better be it relationship or for business. Always be prepared. Be fair, Ask what is the theory behind their stand, Never yield to pressure and most importantly trust your heart. Take Charged!

Daily Read : Invent Options For Mutual Gain

Many times we think that fair is dividing for example an orange into 2, half goes to the first child and the other to the second. However the first child ate the fruit and threw away the peel and the second child threw away the fruit and dried the peel to bake a cake.  Many negotiation end up with half an orange for each side instead of the whole fruit for one and the whole peel for the other.

1. Obstacle that inhibits the inventing of abundance of options 1: Premature judgement, nothing is so harmful to inventing as a critical sense waiting to pounce on the drawbacks of any new idea. Judgement hinders imagination. If you wish for a pay raise of $5000 and your boss counter with $1500. A figure that is unsatisfactory. In a tense situation like this you are not likely to start inventing imaginative solutions. You may fear that if you suggest something stupid you will be shoot down and rejected.

2. Obstacle that inhibits the inventing of abundance of options 2: Everyone is searching for a single answer. We tend to think, we are having a hard enough time agreeing as it is. The last thing we want is a bunch of different ideas. Since the end product of a negotiation is a single decision, we fear that free floating discussion will only delay and confuse the process.

3. Obstacle that inhibits the inventing of abundance of options 3: The assumption of a fixed pie, people always think in a fixed sum game, $100 more for you on the price means $100 less for me. Why bother to invent if all the options are obvious and i can satisfy you only at my own expense?

4. Obstacle that inhibits the inventing of abundance of options 4: Thinking that solving their problem is their problem. Shortsighted self concern thus leads a negotiator to develop only partisan positions, partisan arguments, and one sided solutions.

5. Solution : Separate inventing from deciding, invent first, decide if it will work later. Brainstorm for ideas, people need not fear looking foolish since wild ideas are explicitly encouraged, there is no right way to run a brainstorming session.

6. Solution : Broaden your options, at this stage of negotiation we are not looking for the right path but looking for room to develop for negotiation. The key to wise decision making, wheather in wine making, sports, or negotiation, lies in selecting from a great  number and variety of options.

7. Solution : Look at the problem from multiple expert. From a banker, accountant, coach, lawyer.

8. Solution : Look for mutual gains. The Chess game may always seem like a either you win or i lose game. Not until a dog trots by and knocks over the table, spills the beer, and leaves you both worse off than before.

9. Focus on the differences in interest and belief make it possible for an item to be of high benefit to you, yet low cost to the other side.

Jack sprat could eat no fat

his wife could eat no lean,

and so betwixt them both

They licked the platter clean.

10. Ask for their preferences, one way to dovetail interests is to invent several options all equally acceptable to you and ask the other side which one they prefer. You want to know what is preferable, not necessarily what is acceptable.

Hope this 10 points opens up your mind in negotiating, its never one way to solve a problem. If you want to know more do get the book from amazon here.

 

Daily Read : Focus on Interests Not Positions

20 days of unstoppable learning! Hope you guys are enjoying the learning as much as i do! So today we will be on chapter 3 of Getting To Yes! 10 points lets go!

1. 2 man quarreling in a library, one wants the window open and the other wants it closed. They bicker back and forth about how much to leave it open, a crack, half way, three quarters of the way. No solution satisfies them both. Enter the librarian. She asked one why he wants the window open “to get some fresh air” she asks the other why he wants it closed “to avoid the draft” after thinking a minute, she open wide a window in the next room, bringing in fresh air without a draft. For a wise solution reconcile interests, not positions.

2. The story about is a very common situation in negotiation where both party are not clear on the interests but focusing on the position of the window. No one would have been able to solve this problem if the librarian focus on the position too.

3. Interests define the problem. The basic problem in a negotiation lies not in conflicting positions, but in the conflict between each side’s needs, desires, concerns, and fears.

4. Behind opposed position lie shared and compatible interests, as well as conflicting ones. Like in a interest of a tenant vs landlord. Both want stability. The landlord wants a stable tenant; the tenant wants a permanent address. The shared interest being know may lead to a negotiation which results to a long lease, an agreement to share the cost of improving the apartment and efforts by both parties to accommodate each other in the interest of a good relationship.

5. To understand what interest they are in. Always ask yourself why when the other party takes a position. Why does the landlord prefer to fix the rent in a five year instead of one by one?

6. The most powerful interests are basic human needs. In searching for the basic interests behind a declared position, look particularly for those bedrock concerns that motivate all people. If you can take care of such basic needs, you increase the chance both of reaching agreement and, if an agreement is reached, of the other side’s keeping to it. Basic human needs include:

  1. security
  2. economic well being
  3. a sense of belonging
  4. recognition
  5. control over one’s life

7. Acknowledge their interests as part of the problem. Each of us tends to be so concerned with his or her own interests that we pay too little heed to the interest of others. People listen better if they feel that you have understood them.

8. Put the problem before your answer. If you tell them your answer first they may feel defensive and will not want to listen and start attacking you back. However if you want some one to listen and understand your reasoning, give your interests and reasoning first and your conclusions or proposals later. Tell the company first about the dangers they are creating then they will listen carefully.

9. Be concrete but flexible, you wanna know where you are going and yet be open to fresh ideas! To avoid having to make a difficult decision on what to settle for, people will often go into a negotiation with no plan other than to sit down with the other side and see what they offer or demand. An open mind is not a empty mind.

10. Be hard on the problem, soft on the people. It is not wise to commit yourself to your position but it is wise to commit to your interest. Often the wisest solutions, those that produce the maximum gain for you at the minimum cost to the other side, are produced only by strongly advocating your interests.

Tell us how you are able to apply these negotiation skills in your daily life or if it had impacted you in the comments below! Stay strong, Take Charge!

As always the book you can purchase it from the link below!

Daily Read 19 : Separate the People from the Problem 对事不对人

Same as how the Chinese always says 对事不对人 english we have separate the people from the problem. Today we will be touching on the first part out of the 4 method in winning a negotiation.

1. Ever happen to you in a work place where you always “kena” arrow? Then you are thinking why always me it has been 5 times in two weeks. What’s going on? Thinking that, your boss hates you or something but turns out when you asked your boss, its because your boss thinks you are the best, he can trust you. He keep on sending you because he had no choice as no other people are able to replace you. The boss also thought that you love the responsibility. We human being have emotions, deeply held values, and different backgrounds and viewpoints. We are prone to cognitive biases, partisan perceptions, blind spots, and leaps of illogic.

2. Every negotiator has two kinds of interests. 1. in the relationship. 2. substance

3. Anger over a situation may lead you to express anger toward some huamn being associated with it in your mind. Like “The kitchen is a mess” or “Our bank account is low”  Egos tend to become involved in substantive positions and it will be hard for people to negotiate properly.

4. Disentangle the relationship from the substance; deal directly with the people problem. In negotiating it is easy to forget that you must deal not only with their people problems, but also with your own. Your anger and frustration may obstruct an agreement beneficial to you. You perceptions are likely to be one sided, and you may not be listening or communicating adequately.

5. As useful as looking for objective reality can be, it is ultimately the reality as each side sees it that constitutes the problem in a negotiation and opens the way to a solution.

6. Put yourself in their shoes. How you see the world depends on where you sit. People tend to see what they want to see. You may see on the table a glass half full of cool water. Your spouse may see a dirty, half empty glass about to cause a ring on the mahogany finish.

7. They met in a bar, where he offered her a ride home. He took her down unfamiliar streets. He said it was a shortcut. He got her home so fast she caught the ten o’clock news. Why is the ending so surprising? We made an assumption based on our fears.

8. Under attack, the other party will become defensive. For example, you do a lousy job and the machine breaks down again. When you talk about the problem, distinguish the symptoms from the person with whom you are talking. “Our machine that you service has broken down again. That is three times in the last month. The first time it was out of order for an entire week. This factory needs a functioning machine. I need your advice on how we can minimize our risk of machine breakdown. Should we change service companies, sue the manufacturer, or what?

9. We are doing it just to let them “save face”. The tone implies ridicule. The grave misunderstanding of the role and importance of face saving. Face saving involves reconciling an agreement with principle and with the self image of the negotiators. Its importance should not be underestimated.

10. Listen actively and acknowledge what is being said. “Did i understand correctly that you are saying that . . .?”

Mostly importantly is to keep a good relationship with the other party. Prevention is better than cure. Hope this helps with your daily negotiation and unlock some brain juice from you. If you need the book check out my link below!

Daily Read 18 : How should we negotiate without giving in?

Hi guy we have come to an end for Tony Robbins Awaken the giant within, the rest of the book is on a 7 day challenge so you if want the book do go to the link below.

Today we will be starting on a new book Getting to Yes! Negotiating an agreement without giving in by Roger Fisher & William Ury.

First Chapter : Don’t Bargain Over Positions

1. Arguing over position gives unwise outcome. For example in a second hand shop. Where the dealer and shopper argue over price. And the position is only on price. The conversion will go on and on and on. Perhaps they will reach agreement; perhaps not. Arguing over positions produces unwise outcomes.

2. When negotiators bargain over positions, they tend to lock themselves into those positions. The more you clarify your position and defend it against attack, the more committed you become to it. The more you try to convince the other side of the impossibility of changing your opening position, the more difficult it becomes to do so. Your ego becomes identified with your position. You now have a new interest in “Saving Face” in reconciling future action with past positions, making it less and less likely that any agreement will wisely reconcile the parties original interest.

3. Arguing over position endangers an ongoing relationship. It becomes a contest of will. Each negotiator asserts what he will and won’t do. If you want to go to the movies with me, it’s avatar or nothing. Anger and resentment often results as one side sees itself bending to the rigid will of the other while its own legitimate concerns go unaddressed. Bitter feeling generated by one such attempt may last a life time.

4. Being nice is no answer. Being nice and giving in to the other party may be a common kind of negotiation in family, friends and love ones. The agreement becomes highly likely, but it may not be a wise one. For example, a story of an impoverished couple in which the loving wife sells her hair in order to buy a handsome chain for her husband’s watch, and the unknowing husband sells his watch in order to buy beautiful combs for his wife’s hair.

5. Separate the people from the problem. Be soft on the people hard on the problem.

6. Focus on interests, not positions. Explore interests, avoid having a bottom line.

7. Invent multiple options looking for mutual gains before deciding what to do. Develop multiple options to choose from, decide later.

8. Insist that the result be based on some objective standard. Try to reach a result based on standards independent of will. Reason and be open to reason; yield to principle, not pressure.

9. Analyse and diagnose the situation. Gather information, organise it, and think about it.

10. Each side should come to understand the interest of the other. Both can then jointly generate options that are mutually advantageous and seek agreement on objective standards for resolving opposed interests.

Daily Read 17 : You can be great if you determined to be so.

Daily read 17, we are finishing up on Awaken The Giant Within, today will be the last chapter and its on Identity : the key to expansion! Hope you guys enjoyed the book as much as i do. Tomorrow i will be sharing another awesome book! So stay tuned! Do drop a feedback in the comment section if there is another book you wish for me to share! So here will be the 10 points for today!

1. what we can or cannot do, what we consider possible or impossible, is rarely a function of our true capability. It is more likely a function of our beliefs about who we are. If you ever told yourself “I could never do that” or “i am just not that kind of person” then you have run up against the barriers of limited identity.

2. The beliefs that we use to define our own individuality, what makes us unique, good, bad or indifferent from other individuals. And our sense of certainty about who we are creates the boundaries and limits within which we live.

3. If you feel that you are not an outgoing, outrageous person, you will tap the resources of behaviors that match your identity. Wheather you see yourself as a wimp or a wild man, a winner or a wallflower your will instantly shape which capabilities you access.

4. Time and again researchers have shown that students capabilities are powerfully impacted by the identities they develop for themselves as the result of teachers belief in their level of intelligence. Studies shown, a kid is labeled as gifted by the teacher, these children will normally be the top achievers in their class. Even those who have previously been labeled as poor student.

5. We all will act consistently with our views of who we truly are, whether that view is accurate or not. The reason is that one of the strongest forces in human organism is the need for consistency.

6. A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

7. We all have a need for a sense of certainty. Most people have tremendous fear of the unknown. Uncertainty implies the potential of having pain strike us.

8. Valijean stole the priest silver wares even thou the priest helped him out when he was in trouble. When being caught by the police Valijean was brought back to the priest. The priest said Valjean didn’t stole the silverware but it was a gift from the priest and he actually missed out 2 silver candlesticks. Why would the priest believe in Valjean? The priest said, he was his brother, that Valjean no longer belonged to evil, that he was an honest man and a child of God. This massive pattern interrupt changes Valjean’s identity.

9. So who are you really?

10. Are you a millionaire? A you a happy person? A you someone who empower people? Are you someone who think you are fat? Or Are you someone who think i am a healthy person?  Many people have given themselves the identity that they are a fat person. Its not the fat that make them fat but the identity they stick to believing that they are fat that causes them to stay that way. So Who are you really?

I think, therefore i am – Rene Descartes 

Hope you taken something out to use from this 10 points today! Stay Charged Be Cool You are Awesome!

As always if you need the book you can always click the link below so i can earn some affiliates $! Cheers!

 

Daily Read 16 : References : The Fabric Of Life

“Man’s mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions.” -Oliver Wendell Holmes

Here are the 10 points to take away from todays daily read on Anthony Robbins : Awaken The Giant Within Chapter 17 :  References : The Fabric Of Life.

Point 1 : If we want to understand why people do what they do, a review of the most significant and impactful reference experiences of their lives certainly can gives us clue. Just like saddam hussein who had been abused by this father and how his uncle teach him to nurture a grudge and to hate the English “overlords.” that causes him to be who he is. However in life, its not our references, but our interpretations of them, the way we organise them that clearly determine our beliefs.

Point 2 : References are all experiences of your life that you have recorded within your nervous system, everything you have ever seen, heard, touched, tasted, or smelled. stored away in our giant brain. Some we pick up consciously, some unconsciously. The power to using your references is to organise your references in an empowering way. The way we use our references will determine how we feel, because whether something is good or bad is all based on what you are comparing it to. 

Point 3 : Sony when they just started was once made an offer for 10 times the value of the company. For their $10,000 company Bulova offered them $100,000. However the offer was rejected, he told them “Fifty years from now, my company’s name will be as big as yours.” Many people thought Sony was crazy not to accept that offer. How was he able to create this sense of certainty that enabled him to turn down such an enticing and profitable offer? He vividly imagined the future of his company, and created references where none existed. 

Point 4 : You want to learn from your past, not live in it, focus on the things that empower you. What if Thomas Edison had given up after his first failed attempt to make the electric light bulb or even the 100th attempts or 1000th attempts. Luckily for us, he could had taken each instance as a reference to back up a belief that his invention was a failure and it is not feasible. Instead, he chose to use each failed attempt as a reference for the belief that he was getting closer to the solution.

Point 5 : Reading is feeding your mind. Read a book, go to seminars, meet people, listen to audio tapes, poetry, myths, stories and get new ideas. All references have power, and you never know which one could change your entire life.

Point 6 : I used to believe that going to see a play was a waste of time. Why? Because the only plays i had ever attended were poorly acted and the pace was painfully slow. Until one day they decided to go for the Les Miserables, it was one of the best show he ever watch and since then he become addicted to great theater! “Imagination is more important than knowledge” – Albert Einstein

Point 7 : There are no bad experiences, whether its a challenging experience or a pleasurable one, every experience provides me something of value if i look for it. if i pull just one idea or distinction from an experience, then it expands me.

Point 8 : “It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” – Antonie De Saint Exupery

Point 9 : I will never get over them; I will always have pain. Been broken in a relationship? You are absolutely right, as long as you hold on to the belief that you have been taken advantage of, or that you have lost something that can never be returned, you will indeed always have the pain. Just remember, Loss is imaginary. Nothing ever disappears in the universe ; it only changes form.

Point 10 : We live in a galaxy that contains several hundred thousand million stars. Then realise that we live in a universe that has several hundred thousand million galaxies. In other words, there are several hundred thousands million suns in our galaxy alone. And all of these suns have planets revolving around them as well. Think of the magnitude. The stars in our galaxy make one turn around the milky way axis only once every several hundred million years. When you compare it to the life span of us human (80 years max on average) The human life span is but a speck in time. And yet people worry themselves to death about things like how they’re going to pay the mortgage, what kind of car they drive, or how their next business meeting will go.

If you enjoy this 10 points today, i believe you will love the book you can grab a copy at the link below! May the force be with you!

 

Daily Read 15 : The Reason Why You Are Not Happy!

Ever wonder why you are not happy? How some one can be happy and why you are not? Are they expecting lesser in life so they are easily contented and therefore they are more happy? Is this really the truth?

There was this perfect place for people to watch the eclipse and many had paid a huge amount of money just to be at this special spot for this once in a lifetime experience for the 4 minutes eclipse. By 7:10am the clouds had increased and were getting larger by the minute. Suddenly, the sun broke through a hole in cloud, and a partial eclipse was seen. The crowd greeted it with excited applause, but soon it was covered by the clouds. It became obvious that we wouldn’t be able to watch the moon overtake the sun. Then the large crowd of people rush over to the Big Screen set that on of the TV crew erected. There we sat watching the eclipse on national television. Everyone at that moment reacted differently. The situation that all of us face is the same. Some said “I spend $4,000 and traveled all this way, just so i could watch this for four minutes on television?” a few feet away “i can’t believe we missed it! with the daughter reminding her “But, Mum, it’s happening right now!” Some “Isn’t this incredible?” “I feel so lucky to be here!”

The ironic thing of all was that within fifteen to twenty minutes, the trade winds had cleared all the clouds from the sky. It was now blue and clear, and the eclipse was revealed. However many has when back to their room, feeling disappointed and they continued to give themselves the sensations of pain because their expectation has not been met.

People would get so excited and emotional about something like the eclipse which is merely a four minute shadow. If you really think about it, it’s no more of a miracle than the sun coming up each morning! Can you imagine if every morning people from all over the world got up early so they could watch the sun come up? And be really excited and happy about life? Imagine if the CNN opened every broadcast with, “Good morning, once again, the miracle has happened- the sun has risen!” Could we? You bet we could!

What has to happen in order for us to feel good? Do you need to be hug? kiss? or make love to in order for you to feel good? Do you have to run 5 miles a day so you can feel good? What really has to happen in order for you to feel good? The truth is that nothing has to happen in order for you to feel good! You can feel good right now for absolutely no reason whatsoever!As long as we structure our lives in a way where our happiness is dependent upon something we cannot control, then we will experience pain. We can always decide to enjoy the event no matter what happened. It wasn’t that we didn’t have expectations, its was that we decided that no matter what happened, we will find a way to enjoy it. To adopt this rule is to raise your standards. It means you have to hold yourself to a higher standard of enjoying yourself despite the conditions of the moment.

Rules that we give ourself determine if we will be happy or not. Like for example, many people will have a different answer to “Do you have a great body?” A set of criteria will be trigger that you believe constitutes to having a great body. How do you know if the other person love you. You will also have your own set of believe.

Like if he loves me he will never raise his voice at me or if you love me then you will do whatever i want you to do. Or if you love me then i can whine and nag and complain and you should just accept it. Does this sounds familiar? Are these appropriate rules? Hardly! They would be unfair to anyone you were sharing a relationship with. One woman who attended date with destiny really wanted to have a close relationship with a man. However she has rules that disempower her. First she need a guy who will pursue her constantly even thou she rejected them. Second rule is if he kept on for more than a month, she will lose her respect and therefore her attraction to him. Sometimes the rules that we give ourself stop us from getting what we want and we can’t seem to understand why. And you thought you only want to be love and you can’t get it so there is a lot of pain.

Understand your mind, we can be happy, we can be sad. Make your choice and take charge!